Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
