Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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