that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
