I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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