It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize