do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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