the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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