I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm bleeding and have questions
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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