I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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