he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize