I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
