do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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