the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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