i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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