Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
