whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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