My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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