THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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