bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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