how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
