can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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