She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize