You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
