he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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