hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
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