Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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