I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I see more hoeing in ur future
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