we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
