dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
