just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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