i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
