Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
