Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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