it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
