I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
