is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
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