Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
