I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She needs sedatives and a leash
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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