Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
