I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
