Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
