Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
