Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
