i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Randomize
