Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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