oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
