I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
