PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
