i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
