yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
