Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
