I wish my penis had an off switch
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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