Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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