Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
