how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
