just tell him i said nine months
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
