Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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