when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize