I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize