remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
