hell yes lets make some ravioli
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
