Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
