I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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