You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
