We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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