i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
