Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
