We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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