check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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